Hey - come on in - the shop
is open.
Ding ding! Don't mind that, that's just
the bell on the door.
WHO
HERE'S LOST?
What with
circumstances, this
summer's shows of Who
Here's Lost? have
been postponed, but as
with Each of Us, I was
always going to make a
book of it for folk who
didn't catch all the
jokes (I go fast) and so
that's what I've done
anyway.
The book is
80 pages long, and has
the full text of the
show I read at Port
Eliot Festival in 2019
and would have performed
at The Pleasance during
the 2020 Edinburgh
Fringe Festival. But
there's also things from
each of the previous
four decades. There's
the text of The
Predicates from
2014; Glove Story from
2001, a short fable
called The Flower Whose
Petals Were Mirrors,
written in 1991; and
finally a comic
monologue called
Shipwreck, which I wrote
as a student in 1988.
And there's a Bit at the
Back of the Book too.
It was
once again excellently
printed by Printbar and
apologies again for any
typos or flubs - they're
all on me!
The cover is the
terrific illustration by
Jules
Scheele which
would have been the
poster in Edinburgh
(based on a photograph
by Andy
Lane).
Each book
is individually signed
and numbered; the first
edition is limited to
only 400 copies, and if
it sells out there will
be another pressing.
I'll
gladly write a
dedication to you or
someone you love or
resent - there's a box
during under the Paypal
checkout which asks
"Would you like a
dedication?" and that's
where you can tell me
exactly what to write...
Oh, and
even better, you get a free badge with
the book! It asks clearly "who here's
lost?" in the font they call Gotham - in
either yellow on black or black on
yellow (it will be the luck of the draw
which one you get - exciting!).
Who Here's
Lost? (and other things)
costs just £7.00
(a 12.5% discount off
the RRP of £8.00) plus postage
and packaging of £1.50
for UK customers
(First Class mail) and
£5.00 for
International
customers
(International
Standard Airmail)
meaning a UK customer
pays a total of £8.50
and folk from
everywhere else in the
world pays a total
of £12.00.
EACH OF US
If you saw me perform
it, and would now like to read it, this
is where you can get your copy of 'Each of Us (And
Other Things)' and other
things.
Even if you didn't, you can still buy it
here.
The book is 80 pages long
and has the full text of the stage piece
(plus or minus a few edits I made along
the way). Then there's a short story
called 'Please Wait Here' which I wrote
for an art project called (Now that
would be) Telling. Then there's a set of
three love poems I wrote for various
Valentine's Days. And a piece about a
game I invented called Sartorial
Mastermind for an Idler night at the
ICA. Finally, there's a bit at the back
of the book about various bits and bobs
to do with the stage show and the
nonsenses I passed along the way.
It was excellently printed by Printbar
and I did all the proofing and layout
myself so there may well be a few flubs
- sorry!
Each book is
individually signed and numbered; the
current edition (the third) is limited
to only 300 copies, which makes it rarer
than the first and second editions.
I'll gladly write a
dedication to you or someone you love -
there's a box during under the Paypal
checkout which asks "Would you like a
dedication?" and that's where you can
tell me exactly what to write...
Oh, and you get a free badge with the
book - it says "each of us" in lovely
Helvetica.
Each of Us (and other
things) costs just £6.00 (a 25%
discount off the RRP of £8.00) plus postage
and packaging of £1.50 for UK
customers (First Class mail) and £5.00
for International customers
(International Standard Airmail) so
totals of £7.50 and £11.00.
UPDATE: It's also
available as an eBook for the Kindle
from Amazon. This only contains the
short story 'Each of Us' and none of the
other things, but it is fairly cheap - Each of Us eBOOK
More Trees to Climb has the
texts of 3 of my other solo shows as
short stories. There's Coelacanth, Not
Everything is Significant and A
Supercollider for the Family. The
brilliant Stewart Lee wrote
an introduction to me and my work and
again there's a bit at the back of the
book, kind of like a DVD extra.
More Trees to Climb
costs £8.00 (saving 20% from the
RRP of £9.99) with postage and
packaging of £1.50 per book in the UK,
and £5.00 for International shipping,
so totals of £9.50 and
£13.00. For that you get a
signed copy of the book (and I'm happy
to write any dedication you wish; maybe
it's a present for someone?. If you
leave no instructions in the box under
the PayPal Button it will just contain a
signature) and a free gift of an "I have
more trees to climb" badge, posted to
anywhere in the world, by First Class
post in the UK and by Royal Mail Small
Package Airmail abroad.
COMBINATIONS
Now if you'd like a
combination of the books, it gets tricky
for Paypal to understand, so in the
drop-down menu it looks like the options
at a Fast Food Restaurant.
You know how this sort
of thing works.
|
NEW COMBO 1
|
NEW
COMBO 2 |
NEW
COMBO 3 |
NEW
COMBO 4 |
Who Here's Lost?
& More Trees to
Climb
UK
Customers - £17.00
International Customers -
£21.00
|
Who Here's Lost?
& Each of Us
UK
Customers - £15.00
International Customers -
£19.00
|
Each of Us
& More Trees to Climb
UK Customers -
£16.00
International Customers - £20.00 |
Who Here's Lost?
& Each of Us
& More Trees to Climb
UK Customers -
£23.00
International Customers - £27.00 |
You automatically get a £1.00
discount for buying more than one item
- that's cool, right?
For the combo book
packs I've kept P&P costs to a
flat £3.00 for the UK
and £7.00 for
worldwide.
All the combinations
feature extra free gifts of limited
edition badges, maybe a postcard, some
new bit of writing or something.
ALMOST
THE RIGHT PEOPLE
And I am also selling
a Compact Disc called Almost
the Right People. It's full
of music by Simon Oakes and his various
collaborators in his bands Grand Western
and Suns of the Tundra. He was in Rock
Monsters 'Peach' (an offshoot of 'Tool')
and he's written the scores to my shows
for many many years now. In 2009 we put
together a selection of tracks from the
soundtracks of the stage pieces along
with music he developed inspired by my
stories and it's a lovely thing.
The CD costs £5.00
with postage and packing of £1.50
per CD in the UK and £5.00
for International Customers,
making a total to you of £6.50 per
disc for domestic customers and £10.00
per disc for international customers.
They come shrink-wrapped in glamorous
plastic, so there's all that fun of
opening it to look forward to.
OTHER ITEMS!
If you've seen Pronoun
Trouble (or even if you haven't)
you may be in desperate need of a
collection of badges displaying some of
the key words from the show.
Well, your desperation ends now, as I'm
selling packs of five badges to satisfy
your empty lapels.
Behold:
They
are 25mm in diameter and say "duck
season," "rabbit season," "laundrette,"
"launderette" and "pronoun trouble," all
in post-modern lower case text, and are
made of a metal.
Each set comes in a small clear plastic
wallet, and is priced at just £4.00
plus £1.00 postage and packaging for
the UK and £5.00 postage and packaging
worldwide, making a total of £5.00
for UK customers and £9.00 for
international customers.
Badges are way cool.
And if you'd like a video download of
the show to go with a set of badges, I
can sell you that too.
A recording of Pronoun Trouble was made
by the excellent people at Go Faster
Stripe at Chapter Arts, Cardiff on 24th
February 2018 and can be yours to own
forever. Here's a couple of screen
captures:
 
But if you'd like me to send you an
envelope with a pre-approved download
code (and instructions on how to get the
show) as well as a set of badges, I can
do that for you today for the low, low
price of £7.00. Plus £1.00
postage and packaging for the UK
and £5.00 postage and packaging
worldwide, making a total of £8.00
for UK customers and £12.00
for international customers.
If you hate hanging around for post to
arrive and can't wait to get your eyes
on the show, do please purchase it from
GFS - it's cheaper
but they don't have the badges!
THE
COUNTER
So OK, now here comes the actual
shopping bit.
Choose your location
in terms of either the United Kingdom or
literally everywhere else on this green
Earth, and then use the menu to select
your purchases below, add them to your
cart and, with a swift click, you'll go
to a secure page at PayPal and they
will sort out your payment.
Like a pal.
|
