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'Twelve!'
(1996)
An ordinary man receives a nuisance
phonecall that just says the word 'twelve.' A couple of weeks
later another that says 'eleven.' Then 'ten.' What's going on?
Is someone counting down to the end of his life? This is the
story of his adventures as he tries to avoid everything. Miniature
clones of the Pope, Franz Kafka fans, Medusas and cross country
rally dancing come into it too. And who are Mr and Mrs Clemons?
I did 'Twelve!' in 1996 and it was a
great way to get back on the scene. A lot of the credit for the
show's success has to go to its director, Hamish McColl of the
Right Size Theatre Company. We'd bumped into each other at commercials
castings and I'd been a fan of his since seeing 'Stop Calling
Me Vernon' about six times in 1994. He and Sean Foley had come
to see 'Pony' and managed to avoid sayng anything horrible about
it, so that made them both diplomatic and friendly. Hamish taught
me tons and was especially helpful in tightening the end of the
script which really made a difference.
I plotted the idea for the show while
travelling around British Columbia and the west coast of the
states the previous summer and the writing process came pretty
easily. The structure of the twelve phonecalls was originally
going to work through a calendar year so that the calls came
on the the first of each month, but that prevented the changes
of pace that are so useful in solo shows. And plus, there was
no suspense. The Miniature Pope Cloning Project was a good running
gag and I managed to avoid fatwas for the reference to Mecca-Godzilla.
The village of Red Apples was the setting of a novel I wanted
to write the previous year but didn't. The Fiesta de Las Mesas
appeared in Elastic Planet on Radio 4 as did a few ideas from
the first two shows.
I was very happy with 'Twelve!' We decided
to get a lunchtime slot (12.30pm) in order not to lose money
and I think we made a bit back. Everyone got a little 'I am 12'
badge which became a talking point at the fringe - rather than
just plugging the show it made people chat about it and I think
that was more effective. The reviews were very positive and the
whole Edinburgh experience was fun. I was also in 'Oblomov' and
'The War of the Worlds Story' which were both great shows. I
did a month-long run of 'Twelve' at the Hen and Chickens Theatre
in London in June and that went well too.
The music was by Simon Oakes and this
was the first show he scored for me. The theme was beautifully
effective and hummable enough to stick in the mind as audiences
left. Hamish McColl directed, Ted Smith produced. Art design
was by Andy Riley (he painted Mr & Mrs Clemons and made the
menu for Venn's). Lighting Design and technical operation was
by Malcolm Rippeth. I had a great team.
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